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–” I don´t know because I am a sannyasin I am this way, or because I am this way I am a sannyasin.”– I have thought many times in this Gñyanaprasadam that my Gurudeva gave me in the most beautiful talk that I kept with him one hour after returning from the Narmada river. We were together in the provisional premises where we were accommodated and afterwards consecrated as the temple where the relics of his body and Babaji´s would rest.
Heat and rain were cruel with all of us and such special moment was mine. At last, I thought I could keep a high conversation with my Guru and even more! I told myself, “Gurudeva should explain to me the secrets of enlightenment only reserved to sannyasin”. Today 34 years after I really believe that, in his way, he did it thus and what Gurudeva taught me that day is the most valuable treasure and the highest mastery to all that I have learned afterwards with other acharyas and of course highest to my own conclusions.
That morning Gurudeva was near, paternal, firm, and with a sense of communion that he perhaps never reached to express afterwards. The initiation made that I felt united to him not only like a student but like a son that “wears formally” and his father allows to walk with him and treats him like an adult among adults. I wore the colour of his same clothes. He already called me Swami. From that day on he personally occupied himself in regulating the way in which those who, up to that moment, gave a confident treatment, did it correctly, since I was not the brahmachari Shankara Chaitanya anymore, they were taught so that they addressed to me the correct way. He told all my name as it was the first time, and I when hearing it, felt full and satisfied.
We shared room and we slept one opposite the other. We ate seated to the same side of the dining room. And, at last we could talk about Vedanta with “non dualistic accuracy”. – “Do you want to be a member of a sect? Be a supreme Swan beyond all dogmas and limitations even from our doctrines. Search for the wisdom, the knowledge and always be freest as possible, even free from yourself, which is the most important, do not deceive yourself, do not let be trapped by your self-deception. Don’t´t ever trust the mind”.–
That your master to whom you have given your heart and obedience talks to you about the freedom as the supreme rule is sublime and inspiring. I know that these words could have confused the mind of anyone and estimate that the binding relationship in obedience between “master and disciple” was cancelled and suppose and understand that the sannyasa which was transferred gave me the right of rebellion before his mastery, since not, in vain, I was a master too. But I was blessed by the experience and the necessity from my childhood of having a living example to follow and admire. I always felt that I could only love that who I admired and I admired so much that little wise man, that I loved him more than anything else in life, that is, more than myself, therefore. – “Obligations you say? A sannyasin has no more obligation than living under the will of the Gods, interpreting his plans. Keeping equanimity in all situations, which are many in life, by the way. Develop a contemplative life based on meditation and study. These are the characteristics, more than obligations of a sannyasin. All which is necessary for enlightenment, a sannyasin should consider it as part of his necessity for obtaining moksha, the Liberation”.–
Some days after, Gurudeva and I travelled to visit some devotees and participate in a great conference. Gurudeva gave one of his vibrant speeches and I directed an intense sankirtan invoking Shri Rama:
“Prema mudita manasa…”. My sannyasa, my Vedic monacate will always be linked to my Gurudeva, Shri Pujya Swami Tilak Paramahamsa, who will always be honored by me in this and in all lives.
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